I don't know about the rest of you, but sometimes in the craziness of my life I have lost track of who I am. Not in the churchy sense of Who am I...a daughter of God, but more in the sense of what is it that makes me tick. What have I been passionate about from birth and what are my core personality traits. Sometimes I feel the world can pull me in so many different ways that I start acting and reacting like other people rather than myself and then find myself unhappy because my actions/words/etc are not in sync with my core spirit. So I thought I would dedicate this post to telling you and myself to who I am.
I absolutely love learning and have since birth. I am easily fascinated with the way things work and came to be and can counter any newly learned information with dozens of questions.
I can be and naturally am a very passionate person. I think I get it from my mima who has an amazing ability to be passionate about
everything. My passion often comes in forms of gratitude or an overwhelming feeling of "can you believe this!" I am awed by nature, art, history, faith and the little bit of science I understand. I sometimes hide my passion because I have found that many people don't share my love for life. I don't like it when I do this because then I am just another disilllusioned skeptic.
I enjoy creating. Coming from a family of musicians and masters of engineering and science I always felt I lacked creativity, although I have recently learned that is not true. Although I don't build boats or play an instrument beautifully, I get a lot of personal enjoyment out of creating what ever I can. In my profession I love creating new ways to introduce a concept or lesson. In my personal life I love cooking and making simple things like cards. I gain and huge sense of accomplishment when a lesson goes well or a meal is enjoyable. It feels good to create.
I enjoy discussion and deep thought. I love to analyze and make new discoveries about faith, beliefs or relationships through meaningful conversation. Such conversation makes me feel alive, like my mind is opening up channels of electricity that generally lie dormant (Random thought - Bach's compositions on the harpsichord have a similar effect on my). I have learned much about myself and my beliefs through such conversation. Although, sometimes I have found it hard to find friends who are willing to open up enough of themselves to have carry on such conversations.
Sometimes my pull to analyze can be detrimental. I can come home from a social gathering thinking, "Why did they say that?" "What was that look suppose to mean?" "Maybe they don't like me or I said something wrong." This is clearly a waste of time. Who but myself cares that much about such insignificant things. If I am not disciplined I can allow this trait to pull me into self doubt - which it often has and continues to do.
I have a sensitivity to violence, suffering, and poverty. Violence or any thing that remotely portrays suffering have always yanked at my heart strings. As a little girl I would often cry when we passed homeless people in LA, sad for their situation and upset I couldn't do anything to help. I have deep respect for people who can go into miserable conditions to help those who are suffering. Shamefully I sometimes choose ignorance to protect myself from the sorrow of others.
Part of my sensitivity comes from the fact that I am very impressionable and get deeply connected in many things I see and hear. This really shows when it comes to movies. Sometimes I get so involved in a movie that I am emotionally exhausted by the end yet unable to calm down for hours. Sometimes I have been so disturbed by what we have watched I will lay in bed sobbing for hours just trying to come to grips with how cruel or twisted the world can be (I did this recently with the Shawshank Redemption).
I sometimes have trouble accepting that there is evil in the world. I believe everyone was wronged at some point and that's why they have done bad things. I believe in mercy and the power of change.
I am incredibly honest. I hate lying or even with holding information and am bad at it. This makes me the WRONG person to buy a car. I am most hurt when someone I love lies to me.
I thrive in sunshine, warmth and high places. Coldness and darkness is depressing!
I enjoy being active, but would not consider myself an athlete.
I work hard for my friends and families approval and appraisal. It sounds funny, but it really is like fuel, it keeps me going when I know someone is proud of me. My love language is words of affirmation, so when some one tells me they love me, it goes much farther than gifts or acts of service.
Despite my faults I am happy with who I am and I am happiest when I remember and act just like me.
Here is a beautiful view of the lake from out camp area. The girls played big booty non-stop...big booty, big booty big booty!
Washing dishes in the spickett. Thank you Gina Pitts for some of the best camp food I have ever had!
NINJA!
So this is a funny story. We woke the girls up at 5 am, blind folded them and they had them wander through the forest holding on to a "rod" of PCP pipes. The activity and lesson on holding to the iron rod was a spiritual success, although the night before while us leaders were treking through the forest carrying rebar, pipes and pick axes (we forgot the hammer) was something else. Luckily none of us lost limbs or each other!
Here's the gang.
Here is a beautiful view of the lake from out camp area. The girls played big booty non-stop...big booty, big booty big booty!
Washing dishes in the spickett. Thank you Gina Pitts for some of the best camp food I have ever had!
NINJA!
So this is a funny story. We woke the girls up at 5 am, blind folded them and they had them wander through the forest holding on to a "rod" of PCP pipes. The activity and lesson on holding to the iron rod was a spiritual success, although the night before while us leaders were treking through the forest carrying rebar, pipes and pick axes (we forgot the hammer) was something else. Luckily none of us lost limbs or each other!
Here's the gang.
