Things are always more complicated than you think they will be. Today I learned that my hope and desire to keep up a relationship with Tyler's family members was foolish. I know they love me. I know their loyalties must be to Tyler. It just hurts. You never hear people say, "Divorce the man and you divorce the family," but in my case, I think that is the harsh reality. I understand and accept this, but I am still really hurt. I know they are in a hard position. I know we all are. What is the protocol for this kind of crap? Divorce is awful. It ruins so many good things. There are so many unnecessary casualties. There are so many uncomfortable situations and long term effects. I HATE divorce. I hate that marriages can be broken and families torn apart. I hate the selfishness, cruel words, anger and tears that divorce brings. I hate that the most important and beautiful thing this life has to offer, can be so incredibly desecrated. I am ill with how repulsive and wrong the entire idea of divorce even is. I am disgusted that people take marriage and commitments so lightly. I am furious that families and friends turn on each other.
I know that my divorce was necessary, but I hate that such an awful institution had to touch me.
Next time it's for keeps. I will be so diligent, so careful, so prayerful. I will do everything in my power, every day of my life, to avoid the hell of divorce. It is so rotton.
1 comment:
Shan, thanks for being honest and open...when I read these I still feel like its just you and me talking about life. Thinking of you always and wishing your heart ache is less and less everday!
Post a Comment