A Good Day

Today was a good day. There was nothing special about it, other than following an atrocious day, making the simplest things feel good. Today I was perfectly content walking around Macey's looking for my Bran Cereal because it just felt normal.

Purchases also usually boost my morale. Yesterday, my 3 year anniversary with the husband that doesn't want to be with me, I bought myself two pairs of shoes (both on sale). I knew I liked the shoes, but was too depressed to really be as joyful as one should be at such great find! Although I made up for it today :)

Because I am going through the process of splitting up the possessions I have used and acquired over the last three years, I have found myself without a digital camera. This is a huge problem for me because, hello-history? I love to document things. I am not a great photographer and don't really care to become one, but I guess I think my life is pretty important and therefore I want to document just about everything. So tonight I went to Costco and bought a little camera.

I am so excited! I feel like this camera is another symbol of a new beginning. This camera is going to document MY life. It will not store pictures of what used to be or what hopes I had. It is a fresh start, an EMPTY SIM card. I can fill this camera with anything I want. My future feels so open and exciting as I think about what pictures will fill this camera. Today I am done with anxiety, pain and sorrow. Today my future is bright and inviting. This camera makes me feel like I have control again. These past few months haven't felt like they were mine. I felt like my life was being stolen away by influences I couldn't control, but my future will be mine and this camera will prove it.


This is me today. I may look sad in this picture, but I am not. My nose is a little red and my eyes a little swollen, but I am actually proud of that. It hurts (litereally), but it also enforces that what I felt was real. If I don't mourn over the lose I am going through, how could I have any self respect? This is me right now. I am sometimes sad, sometimes happy, often contemplative, but always strong.



This is my RFL, roommate for life, Addie. (Don't worry, we have already vowed never to get cats). She is a pretty remarkable friend.




These are her current living accomodations. :)



And finally, this is me enjoying my new shoes and camera.